Parkinson’s Disease – the day that changed my life
I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease on the 15th of August 2007
It is hard to believe that it was 12 years ago.
Looking back now I know I had some of the symptoms much earlier in my life.
Some days it seems so long ago, a different life, a different person.
Other days it seems only like yesterday…..
I sat across the desk from the man with cold lifeless eyes
His face blank and emotionless, a mask of detachment.
I suppose he was used to conveying bad news and had for years trained himself to become emotionally detached and devoid of sympathy or empathy
But I’m sure I caught a brief flash of humanity in those pale eyes.
In a flat emotionless voice, his words echoed in my head
“YOU HAVE EARLY STAGES OF PARKINSON’S DISEASE”
I kept repeating his phrase.
Sure parkinson’s is an old person’s disease ?
Then my mind dismissed it as if it was a dream and I barely remember what else was said.
I left the room more concerned that my parking disc had expired.
Its funny how the mind copes with trauma and bad news.
A Parkinson’s Story
The moment of diagnosis is so surreal
There’s been a mistake, this can’t be real
Leaving you shell shocked, without any feeling
Your head is numb, your mind is reeling
But it’s an old man’s disease, you exclaim !
Like that old guy, oh what’s his name ?
Clutching at straws, your mind in denial
They must have someone else’s file
Why is this happening to me ?
It’s so unfair, how can this be ?
What did I do to deserve this faith?
It’s all a big mistake, just you wait
But the cold hard truth can not be denied
The cold harsh feeling deep inside
That feeling of helplessness, the loss of independence
The slow erosion of self- esteem and confidence
While this cross is yours to bear
There is support out there
Reach out to your friends, your family
Be as honest and open as you can be
It is OK to cry, shout and feel angry
To feel helpless and hopeless, lost and lonely
Acknowledge that you are fragile and tender
Acceptance is not surrender
Parkinson’s is progresive and will get worse
Changing my life daily, both a blessing and a curse
But while I have the strength, I will not forget
To cherish every moment without regret.
Do not fear the future, it is not here
For it may be very different from what you fear
Let your regrets and worries fade away
Just be the best you can be today…
- Denis Murphy 16 August 2019.