My Silly Red Hat.
My masters brought home a tree
I thought that it was just for me
But when I cocked my leg to pee
They reacted rather angrily
They said that I was being bold
And then locked me out in the cold
Then that ugly fat bulldog from number 8
Stopped and piddled on our front gate
Then he said that my mother was a bitch
So he ended up needing more than one stitch
When he came home from the vets, he wasn’t quite the same
With a bucket on his head – Oh the embarrassment and the shame !
I was dreaming the other night of a big juicy bone
It was all for me and me alone
I didn’t have to share with the neighbour’s cat
Always sneaking around like a dirty little rat
Stealing my food and hiding my toys
When all of a sudden I thought I heard a noise
I opened my eyes and what did I see
But a big fat burglar in a silly red suit and hat, just staring at me
So I chased him around the room, almost knocking my tree
But he took me by surprise by escaping up the chimney !
I thought he would surely get stuck
But no, up on the roof he had a getaway truck.
I rushed to the window and just caught the strangest sight
Some funny looking cows, flying off into the night
Startling and scattering the neighbourhood crows
And I could swear that one of them had a shiny red nose
He reminded me of uncle Richard, always happy and merry
According to my master, he is rather fond of the sherry.
I hope that burglar has learned his lesson and won’t be back
‘Cos in his panic to escape, he dropped a very large sack
Full of nice things he must have stolen from other girls and boys
The children are delighted, they have never seen so many toys
Their parents look bewildered and puzzled as they try to sort all that
But all he left for me was his silly red hat !
C..Denis Murphy 20 December 2021.