Socks and little things that annoy my wife

The wife was complaining about me smelly old feet

“Sure you’d disgrace me if they found you dead in the street”

I take a shower once a week whether I need one or not

But my wife thinks I’m mad and losing the plot

Sure I’m trying to save water, it’s the perfect solution

To saving the planet from all this water pollution

“When last did you put on a fresh pair of socks ?

didn’t I spend all night ironing your shirts and your jocks

folding and putting them in your drawer all nice and neat “

Sure I can’t find anything unless it’s there at my feet

I really don’t see the point in all this dusting and washing

The hoovering and the polishing and this endless cleaning

Sure a month later the place is as untidy as ever

Then you have to start all over again,it goes on forever

But back to the socks the story I must tell

For some strange reason it didn’t end very well

Well wouldn’t you think that I had committed a mortal sin!

“Sure don’t I change them every second day”, says I with a grin

“I change my right sock to the left foot and the left to the right

sometimes I even take them off when I go to bed at night

so I get more wear and it saves you all that trouble”

Well with a sniff and a snort she stormed off on the double

But the other night it all came to a head with the wife

I was in  the front room with the love of my life

With those faithful eyes that loving look

Like a scene from some old romantic book

A faithful friend, a loyal heart

A friend forever until we part

The best friend a man could have as such

So I said “You know I love you very much”

I said it with feeling but a bit too loud and too clear

When suddenly a voice from behind me I did hear

Standing in the doorway I heard my wife exclaim

 “Sure I  love you too darling, I feel just the same

ya old romantic devil, come here and give me a kiss”

But before I could think, I heard myself say this

As she rushed into my arms straight from the hall

“‘Tis the dog I was talking to dear and not to you at all”….

So now I’m in the dog house, to where I’ve been sent

While the bloody dog is on the sofa all cosy and content !!!

c Denis Murphy 10th Sept 2015